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| It only LOOKS like every mans dream! |
Today I speak on
ZUMBA. I used a bright font color simply to bring forth more attention to how.....*tapping on skull*..........invigorating, provocative and shady it is. Yes, shady but, more on that later. Right now I'll like to contribute to the cause and say how GREAT
ZUMBA really is, because quite honestly, it is. It energizes your soul and increases your self worth as a person again, as well as opens you up to new people and experiences or at least that what other people have said in their testimonies. My wife is an ecstatic teacher that I believe tortures her students into overtraining syndrome. She makes it look fun and easy and enjoyable but, they're dying inside so I don't do it. Why?
Because this is me during her
Zumba classes.
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| I excercise my brain ladies!!!!! |
I'm a chunky bumpkin, thunder thigh, quake rattling bastard at heart. That eats like this......
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| Dear God, my mouth just watered!! |
Don't get me wrong though, I love what she's doing and how she's encouraging others to get fit, but I don't fit in well with the rest of the class. I'll peek in from time to time and you see a bunch of sweaty bodies just wiggling their sexy parts all in front of you! It's honestly the first time that I've seen so many people so comfortable with their bodies since that nudist colony in that My Name is Earl episode.
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| It's a ambush of Estrogen! |
And it scares the living piss out of me. They are so enthusiastic about getting fit and staying healthy -- *sigh* --you get the drill. But I AM a guy and I don't mean to visually intrude on any of them but my eyes will wander (because I'm a weird person like that--hell, my eyes wander during prayer) and there's that awkward moment when me and another person make subtle eye contact. NEVER A GOOD THING!
It's either scenario #1......
Scenario #2
I just can't win. So I don't go. I help with the cause and again, I DO support her, but it's just awkward having me around. I don't fit in with normal society and I plan to post more on THAT subject later. I've been to the
ZUMBA CONVENTION with her and witnessed this cult at work and saw all of the smiling faces that were associated with it. Beto (the creator of Zumba) is THE MOST RIPPED spanish guy I've seen outside of MMA, and he seems like he'd dance around the ring until the opponent got tired and whoop the living crap out of them. The little guy doesn't get tired, EVER!!!! But he's smart, and that's why he's so successful right now, he even almost tricked me one time. They created a video game and I'll admit I was intrigued. I played it for 5 seconds and realized I was standing up instead of sitting comfortably (see above picture) and this wasn't at all what I thought it would be. I looked sillier than Looney Tunes hell!
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| Why Me No Move! |
I'll make this 1st part of the series very short and sweet, by ending it here and simply stating that I feel you all should try it and believe that you will enjoy it. To all of the husbands of
Zumba Instructors and
Zumba students alike, I challenge you to fight for your right to stay at home and do NOTHING and be proud of it! I do! And I love it! Just be aware that there ARE other men on the prowl looking at your wife, girlfriend or fiance' and he's shaking his mantitties and testibits in front her, VIGOROUSLY! Good Luck!
